The more you ask for attention and closeness, the more dismissive your partner will likely become.They will often struggle to remember their childhood, having repressed the negative memories that led to the formation of their dismissive behaviour.When they do recall attachment issues from their past, they often do so in a flippant or dismissive way, believing attachment is unimportant.They carry the belief that any negative experience – such as physical or emotional abuse from their parents – simply helped them become the strong, resilient person they are today.But of course, as humans, even dismissive avoidants have a biological need for connection.And when they are starved of this, they will engage in unhealthy behaviour in order to compensate.In relationships, being separated from their partner for an extended period of time may elicit similar behaviour, only to have them act distant and hostile on their partner’s return.Dismissive avoidants will often seek to fulfil their biological needs for emotional and physical connection from less demanding partners – often anxious preoccupied lovers who require constant attention, regardless of whether it is based on real intimacy and connection.If you find yourself dating someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment style, you will likely find them charming at first.They know well what is expected of them when dating and can play the role perfectly at first.But dismissive avoidants’ view subconsciously sees being attached to others as a negative thing.They compare all new relationships to that one unobtainable ideal and are prone to quickly discarding new relationships when they come time consuming or inconvenient.If the relationship does continue, dismissive avoidants will find faults in you and, contrary to the behaviour of the anxious preoccupied, will focus only on your negative traits and shortcomings.But dismissive avoidants will go to great lengths to avoid talking about their feelings.The first inkling you have that something is wrong may well be when your dismissive partner breaks up with you.But if you experience this, it is important to realize that you are not to blame.If you succeed in breaking through a dismissive avoidant’s defensive shield, catching a glimpse of their insecurities beneath, they will panic and run, seeking either solitude, or someone who does not realize they are not exactly what they seem.In relationships, dismissive avoidant people engage in protective behaviour known as distancing, in order to keep their partners from getting too close.Pulling away after positive interactions.While this attachment style can lead to potentially destructive and hurtful relationships, the first step in building a healthy relationship is understanding that this avoidant behaviour is not your fault.Firstly, understand that anger or throwing a tantrum might be the only way a dismissive avoidant is able to communicate his or her feelings.It may be tempting for you to respond with anger of your own.But this will only add fuel to the fire.Instead of engaging with this negative behaviour, take a step back.Walk away if you need to, and return to the issue when you feel you can operate with a clear head and a calm state of mind.Express your needs in an adult way, without making demands or issuing ultimatums.Do your best to calmly come up with solutions to the conflict that will benefit you both.For example, perhaps you’re angry that your avoidant partner has failed to return your messages for three days straight.Instead of attacking him or her, understand that this is simply a characteristic of their attachment style and is not intended to hurt you.Ask that the next time he or she feels the need for space, they agree to let you know and to contact you the following day.This way, your partner will have the space they need, and you will not feel as though the relationship is being threatened.People with dismissive avoidant attachment styles have a tendency to overthink things and get lost in their heads.To overcome this, it can be helpful to have dates that involve physical activity, such as hiking, playing sport or going dancing.The physical exertion will cause your partner to get out of their head and be present in the moment and they will be more likely to connect and form a lasting bond.Having an avoidant partner requires patience.While you may logically see that opening up and sharing their feelings will be beneficial, understand that this process does not come easily to people with an avoidant attachment style.Allow them personal space when they need it and be sure to be engaged and present when they are finally ready to share.The other key thing to remember is that for many avoidants, learning to share their feelings can be as simple as just naming their emotion.By encouraging this simple step, it can open the door to greater connection and openness.Though they may not always act like it, the reality is that dismissive avoidants want – and need love just as much as the rest of us.For dismissive avoidants to cultivate a healthy relationship, it is essential that they learn to open up and share with their partner.Just like dismissive avoidants, fearful avoidant attachment styles come from a deep distrust of a person’s caregiver.Because of the similarities between these two attachment styles, dating a fearful avoidant can be a similar experience to dating someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment style.They accept that they both want and need intimacy and attachment in their life.Fearful avoidants crave intimacy, leading them get closer to their partner.When they do, their old fears kick in and they suddenly feel the need to pull away.This can lead to an endless series of short relationships, in which the fearful avoidant seeks closeness, only to flee when they actually receive it.They can maintain this false self even in moments of intimacy.Just like dismissive avoidants, fearful avoidants have difficulty sharing their feelings with their partners.